Showing posts with label serving. Show all posts
I don't know the season you're facing today. When it's not one thing, it's another, right? Waiting. 
Despairing. Doubting. All the various kinds of suffering possible, and there are many. 

 The gospel writers don't skip around this reality: "For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too" (2 Cor. 1:5 ESV).

We may not be able to sort out all the intricacies of God's plans in our suffering, but we do know one clear goal: to be mature and complete, lacking nothing. 
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (Jamess 1:2-4 ESV)
Honestly, I'm not really comfortable with this verse. If you're like me, I want to say: "That's really nice, God, that you want me to be perfect and complete, but I'm pretty happy with who I am and I just want to do cool stuff for you and be really useful in the Kingdom. Isn't that enough?"

 Dallas Willard, in The Divine Conspiracy**, wrote something that has been rolling around in my head for a few weeks now. He lays out what it looks like to be an everyday apprentice of Jesus and then he says, "What they [apprentices of Jesus], and God, get out of their lifetime is chiefly the person they become."

 The lesson for me in the last few years has been that who I am becoming is way more important to God than what I do. And that's not because His Kingdom and His work are less important than the kingdom of me. It's because my ministry in the church and in the world flows out of the person that I am in Him. That's just how effective ministry works.

 The hard, internal work of conforming us to the image of Jesus--not just at the level of our actions, but down deep to the level of our thoughts, our emotions, our will, our reactions--is what God is committed to. It's what yields the spiritual fruit that changes the world and brings Him glory.

 Now let's be honest here. Knowing this goal of God's doesn't make trials easier. In some seasons, every second of every day can feel pained. But, when we trust that even in this, that God is good and that He is for us and our good, then we can persevere in hope.

I hope this encourages you today. The screensavers below are to remind you of the good God is doing in you and then through you as you go out and be the person God has and is forming you to be.

You can download them be clicking on the images (one on Spanish and one in English) below and saving to your phone. 


    

*I'm so happy for you to enjoy my coloring pages and printables for your personal (not commercial) use! Use for Bible studies, church groups or events, and Sunday school classes are all fine! If you're in doubt, I'm happy to answer any questions. All artwork and photos are copyright Marydean Draws. If you share this, thank you (!), and as a courtesy,  please link back to this post and not the PDF file. 

**affiliate link. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.


               

If you like this, you can get these posts in your inbox by signing up HERE!


God's goal for you + James 1:4 screensaver in English and Spanish

Read more »
In 2000, I had graduated and completed four years at a wonderfully small Christian college (Gardner-Webb University), full of cherished friends, late-night talks, movie nights with lots of M&M's . . . and, oh, a wonderful education too. 

 But they didn't let me stay once I finished my degree, so I was cruelly catapulted into the real world of student loans, work, and living in the dark corner of my parent's unfinished basement. For me, this was a recipe for depression.

 My degree, honor society plaques, and good grades weren't the ticket to a career I expected them to be. I don't fault my degree or my education; I really didn't know what I wanted to do and didn't have much experience (other than working at Domino's: "Would you like chicken wings or breadsticks with that?" Once I asked, "Would you like chickensticks or breadwings with that?"). 

 That year after college put me flat on my face, desperate and hungry for hope and purpose. I began to live on God's words, eating them up like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches after a long hike. 

 After a year of floundering (and starting an anti-depressant--I'm a fan of modern medicine in case you haven't heard me gush about epidurals), I pulled out an application I had stuffed in a drawer a year earlier and submitted to what I felt was God's call to work with the International Mission Board as a two-year journeyman. I would have preferred to go a married woman, but that required a man, and there was no man in sight, so I, at first grudgingly and then excitedly, embraced "the call."

 And that's how I ended up in the monster city of Bangkok, Thailand in January 2002 for what would turn into two and a half years of teaching English to adults in the Baptist Student Center and working with a local church.

 I remember talking to my youngest sister, who was still in high school then, on the phone when I first moved to Bangkok. As I looked out at the highrise apartments and tangles of power lines crowding this section of the megacity of 8 million people, she asked, "Do you like have electricity there?" I think she pictured me in a different kind of jungle. Later she got to come and spend a Christmas with me there and experience it for herself.

How can I describe the sounds, the smells, the feel of it? Motorcycles, banana-grilling street vendors, sweat, car exhaust, jasmine flower garlands, horns honking, TRAFFIC, mangy street dogs, keyboard-playing beggars, pushcart vendors hawking fried bugs, gold-leaf covered statues, and did I mention the traffic? It was my adventure, and I loved the place from day one. I still do. 

 And the people. How a whole nation of people can be almost uniformly friendly is amazing. They are Thailand's true treasure.

 But it was hard.

I had been a 24 year old blooming with confidence in my own personality, sense of self, and sense of humor. Suddenly I was unable to communicate even the simplest "turn left here so I can get out of this taxi and get home." I carried my home address in my backpack for weeks to ensure that if I ever got lost, a taxi driver could at least take me home--like a lost puppy.

 The Thai language is wonderfully simple in its grammatical structure, but mind-wreckingly difficult in its tones. For example, the word "glai" can mean "near" or "far" depending on the tone. I believe one is a low tone and the other neutral (Thai has five tones). I still can't remember which one is which (kind of how I can't remember the difference between a nickel and a dime). This creates a problem when you're wanting to know if the restaurant you're looking for is near or far. Will I be walking one block in the 90 degree, 100% humidity weather, or eight blocks? Tones matter, you see.

 So I sat through conversations and jokes and bus rides understanding and contributing nothing. I wasn't funny. I felt tall, and white, and quiet. My sweet friends would try to translate jokes for me, but by the time they came out in English, I could never really get the point.

 Besides the difficulty communicating, the norms for a single girl my age in Thailand were different than I was used to. Suddenly this girl that craved alone time was in a culture where girls hold hands and do everything together. It revealed what a self-centered existence I had been living up until that point.

 And most things are just a little more difficult to accomplish in a big city. No, we weren't hauling our own water or driving somewhere for internet access, but it had its challenges. To get to school each teaching day, I took a motorcycle taxi to the top of my street (riding "side-saddle" in my skirt, of course) where I hopped on the sky train. From there I would take another motorcycle taxi or walk to my school building, depending on how sweaty I was willing to get. 

 My friend and fellow teacher Arlene tells the story of trying to buy a plunger. She found herself in the middle of a department store, surrounded by puzzled employees, giving her very best plunging impression. We all got very good at charades.

 I began to realize that the self that I had come to embrace in my mid-20s just didn't work in Thailand. If I wanted to make relationships and share the love of Jesus with these people, I had to change. I had to joke differently, talk differently, function differently. The first year and a half there felt like a constant rubbing the wrong way. But God began to change me slowly . . . 

 And in time, life in Bangkok got easier. Things I found grating in the beginning no longer bothered me. I began to understand how to relate, how to communicate, and how to fit in. 

 Looking back I see that the self I loved was much narrower than what God had planned--much more me and a lot less Him. Jesus said, "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:39).  

Jesus set the ultimate example of losing oneself:
"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Philippians 2:4-8

Jesus didn't cling to His identity as God or the advantages of that position. He was willing to lay all that aside to obey the Father's designs. He "emptied himself" in order to connect with us, and He empowers us to do the same for others.

 Life since Bangkok has continued to be a series of big and small losses of myself. There are small losses like seeking to know people without needing for them to know anything about me.

 There are bigger losses like when I decided I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM for you internet-savvy people) when my oldest was one. I had enjoyed a short career as an ESL teacher for adult learners, and I felt good at it. I remember taking my daughter, Sarah, to story time at the library with all the other SAHMs and then coming home and whining to my husband, "I'm a stay-at-home-mom!!" 

 "I thought you wanted to stay home?" replied my husband, perplexed.

 "I do, but it just feels weird!" I lamented. Little did I know that staying at home would open the door to homeschooling (Now who am I??!), this blog, a little home business, a renewed love for art, and a new love for graphic design, not to mention all the joys of so much time with my children and other mommy friends. Dying to one thing gave life to other beautiful things.

 As I write this, I realize that I'm back in a Bangkok of sorts. This life as a stay-at-home mom of three now, trying to figure out homeschooling, not much time to myself, and little people who I adore, but who need so much. Some demands are very real, and others are the ones I unnecessarily lay on myself or let other lay on me (no, I haven't sorted all that out). I am disoriented at times, and stretched. I'm still in the "rubbing" stage. The me I have been must change in order to care for these little ones--my current "mission." 

I'm reminded that one day I will look back and see all the adjustments God has made in me, and once again, praise His perfect ways. 

Just a slice of life. Mommas, tell me you've never . . .


You can get these posts in your inbox by signing up HERE! You'll also receive news of any specials and deals in my Etsy shop.

Losing myself Part 2: Losing & Finding Myself in Bangkok, Thailand

Read more »
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but inhumility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." Philippians 2:3-6

 We have been talking about this passage in our community group, and it has been on my heart for the past few weeks. Isn't it funny how unaware of our hearts we can be until God hold up the mirror of His Word through His Spirit? This passage has been that mirror.

 I struggle with thinking of myself in so many ways:
  • The baby cries at night and I think about how much I want to stay in bed.
  • I have a discipline problem with a child and all I can think about is how much it is driving ME crazy.
  • My husband works a long day and is late getting home, and I am brought to tears about how I have to be home alone another five minutes.
  • I talk to someone at church and wonder if they think ME friendly and helpful.

Me, me, me.


I think about how this must have driven my parents crazy, just as my own daughter's natural selfishness does. We come pre-programmed this way.

 But we have a Savior who showed us a completely upside-down way to live. Jesus took no thought for his own reputation and image. He poured out His life for ungrateful people like me. And this is the same Spirit, the same mind, He plants in His followers.

 I get frustrated with my pride. Why can't I do ANYTHING without revealing its ugliness? And God gives a solution here in this passage and it's simple: think of other more than yourself. "Rock Philippians 2" has long been a motto and core value of our church.

God knows I can't stop thinking about myself, so He trains me to replace thoughts of ME with thoughts of others:
  • Think about how the world might feel to my newborn baby, and how I might comfort him.
  • Pray for my child who's struggling to exercise self-control.
  • Think about what my husband might need after a long day's work. Pray for his encouragement.
  • Focus on what someone else is saying more than my own reputation or appearance. Enter into their world for that moment.
God is so wise and so simple in teaching us His ways, isn't He?

I can own my failings because I am secure in the grace of Jesus. He has met all standards for me. I am not His child because I am good, but because He has birthed me into His family. I am a new creation, part of a new people (1 Peter 2:9), a child of the Great King.




You can get these posts in your inbox by signing up HERE! You'll also receive news of any specials and deals in my Etsy shop.

Losing Myself: Part 1

Read more »


"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." Philippians 2:5-7

My family and I have the honor or serving in many ways in our church. We have a community group that meets in our home. We teach kiddos on Sunday. And I'm a neighbor, wife, mom, and now a homeschooler, so there are plenty of serving opportunities in my life.

But none of these opportunities to serve guarantees that I'm doing what this verse in Philippians commands: "have the mindset of Jesus Christ."  

Jesus made Himself nothing. I often want to make myself look good, build my own reputation.

Jesus took on the very nature of a servant. When I'm under-appreciated, when I'm asked to do a little more than I really want to do, or when my tasks are completely hidden or taken for granted, my heart betrays me. A real servant doesn't need appreciation. She is available for any need, great or small. Nothing is below her.

I'm not just called to serve in ways I pick and choose. Jesus calls me to have His thinking and BE a servant in the many ways He sets in front of me.

This means that  . . . 
  • All my serving is meaningful because it's for HIM.
  • No matter what role I'm in, my identity is as a servant of King Jesus. I may organize a whole ministry or I may wipe my children's bottoms and break up sibling squabbles all day. Maybe I'm even unavailable or unfit in my season of life for any work I see as meaningful, but my identity doesn't change with my role.
  • My identity comes from Jesus, my Master, not the things I'm serving. For example, I serve Jesus in writing this blog, but I don't serve this blog. It should never be my identity. This way of seeing myself keeps me from becoming imbalanced and out of sync with the rest Jesus calls me to (Matthew 11:28-30). I only take on the work He gives, and the remaining work is up to Him to take care of as the Master.
The truth is, only Jesus can work this heart in me, through His Spirit, as I respond to Him ("work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works you both to will and to do for His good pleasure" Philippians 2:12b-13). That's why, when my heart betrays me, I'm beginning to not try harder to "be better," but to admit my sinful heart and ask Jesus to forgive and change me.

What do you think? What does serving versus being a servant mean for you?

Jesus, work YOUR heart and mind in me. Help me be so taken with you and who You are, that my life mirrors yours in every situation. May a lifestyle and mindset of serving be my joy, as it was yours.


don't just serve

Read more »
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)